Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Youth is Wasted on the Young

So it's been a while since I've put my thoughts into writing.  Life gets in the way.
     They say youth is wasted on the young.  When you are young you don't get this saying, of course, but with age it makes all the sense in the world.
     When you are young you think life lasts forever, you have all the time in the world, and nothing can touch you.  You eat the worst foods, only exercise if it's fun or required for a grade, and do horrible things to your body for the sake of looking good right now, not giving any thought to how it will affect you in the future, when it really counts.  This generation does have more information than my generation did about nutrition and exercise and how all of it affects the body.  The internet is good for that.
     And who hasn't had their first broken heart?  You think you can't live through it, remember?  It's a pain like no other.  Then it fades into hopefully a great memory.
     I can remember my real first true love.  I won't name him, but he knows who he is.  We are friends on Facebook.  We chat on there once in a while.  We had lunch once years ago to catch up.  It's amazing how differently our lives have gone.  Neither is better than the other, just different.  I have such fond memories of that time in my life.
      I guess what I'm saying is if I had known then what I know now, with the wisdom of my years, would I have done anything different?  Would I have "wasted my youth"?
     The answer is a resounding HELL YES!!  I would have exercised more, eaten better, paid more attention to my finances, respected authority more.  But the major things, like my career, the father of my children?  No.  I like how those turned out, even if the path was bumpy.  And that first love???  I like seeing on Facebook his smile, the smiles of his lovely wife and children.  It all turned out exactly as it should be.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Society sucks

Random Rambling:
     So I have to vent, and what better place than here?
     Society today sucks.  We have really lost control.  I'm going to show my age here and I couldn't give a shit less.
     Remember back in the good old days when people had.....some people may need to break out a dictionary, or google this because they don't know what a dictionary is.....MANNERS?
     When exactly did society decide it was okay to stop teaching their kids manners?  I raised my kids to be polite, courteous and gracious.  It's so uncommon people actually stop me to praise me on how well mannered my kids actually are.  That's pathetic!!!!!  When I was their age, it was expected!  Now it's admirable.
     This rant came about because this morning I took my youngest, Delaney, to Starbucks as a treat before school.  As we were standing in line there was a guy with a young lady in front of us.  The young lady was wearing a guard uniform and looked well groomed.  The young man was wearing sweats, pulled halfway down his butt, and bright green boxers.  As if that wasn't bad enough, he was barefoot.
     Cut back to remember the good old days when eating establishments had signs that said, "No shirt, No shoes, No service"?
     Well, this kid proceeded to dance around with his butt half hanging out of his pants, his bare feet slapping on the floor.  His female companion pleaded with him to stop, but that only egged him on.  Not one employee said a thing.  And it was impossible not to notice this guy had no shoes on.  He was dancing around stomping his feet and you could hear his nasty, dirty bare feet slapping against the concrete floor.
     By the time we left Starbucks, I had pretty much lost my appetite.  As we walked out toward my car, no-shoe guy was holding the passenger side door of an older red Cadillac open  for his female companion, waited for her to slide in, then closed it behind her.
     Moral of this story?  Manners are dead, cremated, and the ashes are buried six feet under ground in a cement tomb, but chivalry is not dead.
That's my rant.  Thanks for reading.

Hey, this is what I've got to say today.
So my blog today is taking a turn I didn't expect.  I was going to write about the windy road my son had to take to find peace in his life.  Turns out I'm going to write about my daughter who turns 19 today.
I was at my boyfriend's house until about 9:00 last night, then came home to find both my girls chatting in the living room.  My oldest, Miranda, looked upset. She is a full-blown drama queen so  that's not unusual.  I asked what's wrong.  After the usual "oh, nothing," "It's not worth talking about," I got out of her that she isn't sure if she wants to be a nurse anymore.  She is a sophomore at CSU Stanislaus, and picked that college for its selection process for the nursing program.  To me this was not earth-shattering news.  I tried to explain that it wasn't unusual for college sophomores to change their majors.  Quite common actually.
Since Miranda graduated from high school with 16 college credits and is going to college on pretty close to a free ride, her father and I have few complaints.  She lives at my house rent free, no bills to speak of other than car insurance and any crazy groceries or sundries out of the norm.
So here is my baby girl, freaking out because she doesn't know what her major is in college anymore. My response may have seemed bitchy, but it was honest.  I told her to get over herself and calm down, she was a normal college sophomore.
Miranda has always excelled at everything she has done.  Always had things come very easily to her. She applied to something like six colleges and got in to five.  So to now feel like she is unsure of where her life is heading makes her very uncomfortable.  I think it's a good thing.  She needs to learn that she can go off course and still be okay.
Then Miranda announces she wants to take summer classes.  I asked her why.  She is 19 years old, lives at home rent free, eats my food, works part time, and will enjoy these privileges until she graduates from college.  She went in as a second semester freshman, so she is already ahead of the game.  She works very hard.  It took a while but I finally got her to agree she would take the summer off.
I know it sounds off that I would talk my kid out of taking summer classes so she could finish college sooner, but there has to be a balance.  You are only young once, and responsibility and life are thrown in your face so quickly.  So what if I want Miranda to take time to smell the roses.  She is 19 years old.  She works part time.  She is a very responsible, loving, beautiful daughter, granddaughter, great-granddaughter and sister.  I have raised her to be a good kid.  Now I have to teach her to be a good adult.  And part of that is learning balance.  Wanting to overachieve is a great thing, but not at the expense of losing yourself.
So that's what I have to say today.  Hope you are having a great one!!!

Monday, April 4, 2016

Introduction to my craziness

Hi everyone,

     My name is Carrie, and I'm starting this blog for several reasons:  To put out my point of view on parenting in this day and age, to hopefully give some information to parents frustrated by how society has changed and seems to have taken power away from them, and bust myths about about what parents can and cannot do to discipline legally.  Also, selfishly, to vent my frustration on what I consider lazy parenting.  People who expect others to raise their kids and when their kids screw up have a million excuses why it's everyone else's fault but theirs or their precious little angel.
     I love to listen to other points of view and have a good, respectful debate.  I am under no illusion that I am always right or that I know everything and am always happy to learn.
     So I have three terrific kids, Nikolas, 24, Miranda, 19 on Wednesday, and Delaney 15.  It has been quite a journey raising these remarkable people, and through this blog I'll share the great times I am so proud of, but also the horrific times that make me, as a parent, question what I could have done better, where I went wrong.
     I am so hoping to have some lively and informational discussions that benefit others as well as myself.  The youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow, and as someone who works with our troubled youth five days a week, I gotta tell you, I'm scared.
     So that's the Intro.  Let's have some fun!!!